Posted by: Phil | January 4, 2009

Pepsi Sucks

Curse you, curse you...

Curse you, curse you...

Yeah. They suck.

Have you been at your local grocery store lately? HM!? HAVE YOU!? Well, if YOU HAVE… and if you, like me, had this special need to get yourself a PEPSI… that great drink with the awesome swirly circle logo of a balanced red, white, and blue coloration and nice looking font of solid goodness…. … you might have WITNESSED this hilariously bad logo:

presenting…

O NOEZ!! TEH MONOLITHS!!

O NOEZ!! TEH MONOLITHS!!

Taking away the generous enhancing red X’s and merciful red words, the new Pepsi beverage designs are total garbage. At first I thought these things were a joke. No… REALLY. I REALLY thought these designs where in the vein of their very-short-lived “We Change the can’s design every month” series. Remember those? Yeaaah those were actually cool! What happened, PEPSI? Did Blood Anchor Graphics take over the design team? Is this a sort of sick twisted joke?

someone got too happy with Photoshop's "Liquify" tool

someone got too happy with Photoshop's "Liquify" tool

The new Pepsi Logo: did the original Pepsi’s logo’s retarded cousin murder him and take the center stage? Because That’s what it looks like to me. It’s a useless, blatant and tasteless amateur upgrade to a logo that is highly recognizable. You just don’t do crap like this.

To me it looks like a shoe-brand logo. Really. It’s something you expect to see on a SHOE-BOX let ALONE a beverage! Pepsi Shoes look pretty good with that logo, to be honest.

Not only that, but isn’t that the KOREAN AIR logo?

Okay since Pepsi decided to change its look to a shoe-company thinking its selling soft drinks, what I made for you is how it would look like if… GASP!… if COCA-COLA changed its logo? Since new re-brands these days prefer laughably simple and  abbreviated (aka the newly-dubbed “Mtn Dew“…what, would the word “Mountain” burn our vocabulary-intolerant minds?) designs, I’ve tried to predict what Coca-Cola would do if their brains started rotting away like the people at Pepsi and countless other companies.  …. introducing…

complete with suicide-inducing lame catchphrase!

complete with suicide-inducing lame catchphrase!

Oh yeah, isn’t this just CRINGE-WORTHY? See what crap like this does? Do you see? Are your eyes bleeding? This is the face of today’s Corporations! I assure you, you do NOT want this. Oh yeah, did I mention it comes with all these subsidiaries:

trust me, you do NOT want this to happen.

trust me, you do NOT want this to happen.

Notice how each crappy “modernized” design has its flavor coming out of one of the “COKE” letters. That screams “Do Not Change”. And I hope they NEVER do.

This is just a taste of the stupidity (and millions of dollars) these large companies splatter to further generate fodder like this… man, am I mad at that.

Oh yeah, if you’re at the shoe store… I wouldn’t be surprised if you find one of these:

pepsishoes

I hate you, Pepsi. I hate you.

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Responses

  1. I want a pepsi shoe! And I think the original pepsi logo looks more like the Korean Air logo than the new one. However, the old one is still better. And I must agree with most people in this generation having anti-vocabulary brains.

  2. lol, dude Phil, you seem very angry. But I didn’t even like pepsi in the first place, so it’s no big deal to me.

    btw, we love the header. Did you draw it? It’s very cool.

  3. Yeah about the Mtn Dew logo…it’s not even trademarked. It doesn’t have a little R in a circle or anything. It does say property of Pepsi or whatever on the back of the can but it just…looks…generic brandish. It is pretty bad I have to say.

  4. lol mtn dew
    apparently they are appealing to the “i can’t deal with more than one vowel in a word” set.

  5. I actually think that the Coke designs are amazing. If you did that I commend you. Although if that did happen, coke would no longer be great and classic.

  6. Wow, that is a nice looking pepsi shoe. I’d buy that. 😀

  7. Pepsi is like the retarded offspring of coke. It needs to be shot in the chest, many….many times.

  8. I work for Pepsi. I hated the logo at first, but after learning it was a smile, and no longer a globe, it started to grow on me. The old logo is kinda incorporated into the “e”, in “pepsi”, although mirrored. The new MTN Dew design is not very good, does look more generic, and the winner of failed “new design” goes to Sierra Mist. Sierra mist is about as generic of a look as you can get, with a blurred arial font, in front of a green forest-like background. The Diet Mist is hard to distinguish from the regular. Diet Pepsi Max is now called Pepsi Max, which confuses people into thinking it is not a diet soda. Old people think that diet caffeine free Pepsi is no longer for sale because they can’t find the gold packaging… which is now white.
    I like the logo, I’m not thrilled with the lower-case font for pepsi, but it is a clean look, less garbage and clutter. We still don’t have a red package, which would come in handy for making displays like the American flag, or Valentine’s Day Hearts.

  9. IT’S AN ANGRY LEFT EYE, HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.

    Just because they told you it’s a “smiley poo” doesn’t mean that it really is one.

    I don’t see a smile anywhere, I see an angry left eye.

    If you look at big corporate logos, you will almost always find either a sun, a pyramid or an eye hidden somewhere in it. There’s a reason for that… Most people are way to dumb to know what the reason is, so I won’t waste more time explaining…

  10. How can I buy let me no asap


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