Posted by: Phil | June 27, 2009

A Unique Review of “Silence of the Lambs”

Silence those Lambs!

Silence those Lambs!

hi guys. I’m internet-impaired for the time being but I managed to hitch a connection somewhere. So I uploaded my review to this movie I watched very recently. Here are my thoughts:

My already low bar for the American film industry’s artistic integrity has just been lowered. How you ask? Because one day I was reading the back of a generally considered classic animated film we all know as “Beauty and the Beast”. It stated that it was the first (and last) flick to be nominated “Best Picture” by the (in this person’s solid opinion) perversely over-bloated Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.
As I did a little more research on this event, I came to notice that it lost that award over somecheapy-deapy murder flick called “The Silence Of The Lambs” (as awesome as the title may sound).

Hmm… this must be some amazingly special movie to beat out a very special animated one. Apparently this “Lambs” movie is also considered one of the best films ever made. Directed by prestigiousguy (I’ve never heard of) called Jonathan Demme? Okay, I’ll check it out.
And I did.

Perhaps the best reaction from me with this “amazing” movie was this:
What Kind Of Drugs Are You People On?!

Case in point: The film itself, based on a novel, inspired by real murders (that’s a triple-dosage of deteriorating originality, f.y.i.) felt like nothing more to me than another shock hokey-pokey horror crime movie. Something that always seems to be played on late-night TV over and over. Sorry, did I just offend you by saying this? Sincerest apologies.

I will say that all the main players did a very good job acting this story out. Especially Tony Hopkins. Although, from all the god-like praise and information I have been receiving prior to seeing this flick, “Anthony Hopkins never blinked in the movie” (disappointingly so: he did. Quite a few times.), I was expecting something otherworldly. Something a little less gross, too. (Do people have no shame? I presume there’s a reason it exists, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking that question.)

What an embarrassment. Say what? The film? No, not at all! I meant what an embarrassment to “the brainless masses”, as many socialist dictators like to call them, who really believe this film is something far greater than what it is. It’s a solid film, yes; It’s suspenseful, arguably so. But it had this seeping feeling of a movie where the filmmakers felt so full of themselves, so high-and-mighty, I could swear they said this every day: “We are so awesome that we made all this shocking and crazy stuff! It’s sure to shock and disturb the audience!” ( It didn’t. It merely disgusted; two verydifferent emotions.). In my opinion, this movie was no different from “Saw”, “The Ring”, or even “Friday the 13th”. If not with just a little bit more intelligence; a little bit.

The action scenes were pretty lame too.
What truly disturbed me, however, was that this little piece of shock-schlock won all ‘major’ categories at the 1991 Academy Awards. (That’s Best: Director, Actor, Screenplay, Film, Supporting Actor for all you respectable people that are uninformed by such nonsense. I hypothesize that it probably won best film by letting the camera keep rolling for the last wide-shot throughout all of the end credits. How titillatingly artsy!)

“Beauty and the Beast” was a heartfelt, charming, and universally classic story. Something that can truly last forever and be seen by generation upon generation; each of them seeing it in a different way. Add to that the arduous process of character animation, something our mighty Academy never ceases to overlook. If anything: to bring to life a story with such character definition, and such a tightly-knit narrative, and such a moral core (three feats a live action movie would be lucky to have at least one of)on screen that can relate to both young and old… and that’s only half of it. Your interests and emotions are being swayed by literally pieces of paper, led, and paint;something that requires a triple-dosage of imagination, inspiration, talent, patience, stamina, and fearlessness (please note: fearlessness is different from shamelessness. Duh.).

I’m perplexed that “Beauty and the Beast” was the only animated film to be nominated for “Best Picture”. This should tell you a thing or two about the stuck-up, pompous and slow-learning nature of our wonderful establishment.

A little off-track: Now that the “Best Animated Picture” category has been established, and so few animated movies are even nominated (the biggest two being Disney and DreamWorks flicks… its hilarious seeing something as forgetful as “Kung-Fu Panda” having an Oscar Nomination), its kind of one-sided considering Disney/Pixar (mostly Pixar) keeps winning every year.

As I watched “Silence of the Lambs”, I wondered how amazing it would be had Rorschach of the more-intelligent, older, darker, less-disgusting and more engaging“Watchmen” comic book been around to mercilessly hunt down and (literally) grill our Hannibal Lecter, and “Buffalo Bill” friends. It makes one wonder… why not?

Anyway. Here is something I sketched while watching that silly “Lambs” movie. First of all, the movie would have been a lot better if fruits played it out.

SCAN_JUNE_2009_16-small2Second, Rorschach should have been in it. Yes, he’s force-feeding Hannibal’s own hand to him and threatening to light him on fire. This happens after Lecter’s head is repeatedly smashed over his lunch (broken porcelain, glass, and all) and shoved against one of the cell bars with bone-rupturing force… oh yeah, and his hand was dismembered with a combination of the dead policeman’s sharp-ended gold-plated badge, and an eating knife. Sorry, I got carried away!


Conclusion: “Silence of the Lambs” is one of those more-intelligent mystery/horror/gross-out movies, but that is not saying a lot. It includes a well-cast bunch of performers, and for the most part, its “okay”-directed. Since I haven’t heard of Jonny Demme before or since, I’m taking he’s a one-shot wonder… kind of like this movie: a wonder it’s so highly regarded…
…And a wonder that I am the definite minority on this.


  1. I like Silence of the Lambs. I’d definitely be interested in seeing Rorschach go up against Hannibal, though.

    Beauty and the Beast is good too, but it would have been better if Rorschach was in it.

    The Watchmen film was a little bit of a letdown.

  2. psst. No one said anything about the Watchmen film… err… movie.

  3. lol hi Phil (I”m stalking you lol 😉
    THis review reminded me of a movie I just saw called “Donnie Darko” very interesting semi odd movie, worth a watch, again very weird, but interesting.
    Oh and since your, well “dead in the water” for internet so to speak, I was wondering if I could throw some ideas your way for a X-men Origins Wolverine trailer dubb ?

  4. oh and one other thing

    ” It stated that it was the first (and last) flick to be nominated “Best Picture” by the (in this person’s solid opinion) perversely over-bloated Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. ”

    Thanks for saying exactly what I was thinking

  5. And about that Watchmen film, very good. I have the graphic novel, the 6 hour long (blue ray) motion comics, AND Tails of the Black Frieghter on DVD, but all I have to buy now is the actual movie……

  6. I liked the film, but didn’t love it. if you want to see a good paper to film adaptation, watch Fight Club

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